Chapter 468: The Gentlest Breeze

“No.”A single word carrying the weight of all my emotions.

As I stepped forward, the doppelganger stepped back, her brows creasing in rightful concern as she raised Starlight Grace like I was an approaching badger.

She wasn’t worrying nearly enough.

“W-What is this? Why do you look so serious now?”

Caution flickered across her face as her eyes darted over me for a hidden weapon.

All I had were my fists, clenched tightly as every trace of mirth faded.

“You. Whatever your name is.”

“I told you my name. It’s Joy.”

“Well, you’ll need to change it to Sadness. Because that’s all that awaits you if you continue towards this terrible fate.”

“... Excuse me?”

She stared in complete confusion. And in that moment, I knew that while she understood nothing about being a princess, she knew even less about being an adventurer.

As such, what I offered was no simple frown of admonishment.

It was both a warning and a sincere act of mercy. For where others might relish the consequences to come, I would offer compassion.

Indeed, none of it mattered anymore.

To steal my face, my sword and my valuable homecoming time while also attempting to feed me carrot cake were all crimes of the highest order. Yet even the most disappointing doppelganger didn’t deserve to fling herself into the mud without realising how deep the mire ran.

As a gentle princess, I would stop at nothing to spare even my enemies from such a ruinous fate.

And more importantly … she would ruin everything!

The Adventurer’s Guild currently owed me more in rewards than it could ever hope to pay–none of which I’d recycle back into whatever scams they ran as exclusive shops, legal services or private bars!

Clearly, a doppelganger waltzing into a guild hall would be a complication.

Not only would she scoop up what was rightfully mine, but she’d uncover the truth of my doings. And if she had the gall to impersonate a princess, she’d doubtless impersonate an adventurer as well.

A thought so dire that I’d almost prefer she remained a princess.

After all … she’d make an exceptional adventurer!

It was as clear as the signature she’d happily scribble on every form! 

Why, her utter lack of planning, her naivety and her misplaced righteousness made her born for adventuring greatness! The instant she allowed that copper ring to disgrace her finger, she’d be ransacking my family’s tombs while claiming to exorcise the mice!

Far from emptying the guild’s coffers, she’d merely refill them!

No.

I couldn’t allow it. 

Every humiliation I’d endured was a scar upon my royal station that I bore for the sake of the kingdom. I wouldn’t see that sacrifice jeopardised.

“How … How dare you!” I said, barely keeping my horror in check. “You who know nothing of the ways of the world, and yet you would suggest throwing yourself into its darkest pits.”

“I have no idea what you’re–”

“Exactly. You have no idea whatsoever. You would walk blindly where no light shines, never realising you may never see the sun again. To become an adventurer requires more than willpower. You must be braver than any boast, willing to abandon all thoughts of selfishness for the greater good. It is a path few can endure and even fewer deserve. Before you may bear the copper ring, you must first possess a heart of steel.”

Nearby, the receptionist began to lightly applaud, her smile brightening.

Understandable. She didn’t need another adventurer wearing my face. For all her abilities, she could only harass one of us at a time. Maybe.

The doppelganger’s mouth widened. Indignation flashed across her features.

“Really now? You’re not content to only complain about my excellence as a princess, but this as well? Do you truly wish to see so little done to help the people of this kingdom?”

“The people of this kingdom are blessed each day by the efforts of my family. They’ve no need for either a false princess or another adventurer who only knows how to make things worse.”

“You have no idea what I am capable of.”

“You have no idea. And that’s very much the issue. Unlike me, you’ve no sense of restraint. If you end up causing an explosion while wearing my face, people would think I resolve everything with violence.”

The applause stopped.

Indeed, the harbinger of doom doubtless understood the danger of a wayward adventurer.

They may constantly skirt the line of acceptability, but that was a talent in its own right. And while I was glad for every faux pas they committed, I needed the guild to fade into obscurity, not invite a diplomatic incident while wearing my face. 

When I chose to ignore the protests of ambassadors, I wanted it to be because of what I officially hadn’t done. Not somebody else.

“... No, this is quite enough,” I said simply. “You’ve already made a hole in my bathroom. That counts as one misadventure. I refuse to allow any more.”

The doppelganger frowned as she held Starlight Grace aloft.

Its dim glow failed to shine before its true owner. Yet even unarmed as I was, she remained alert and cautious. Her gaze flicked toward the shadows cast by the waning sun, doubtless calculating her escape. 

I knew little of a doppelganger’s repertoire of talents, but I knew enough. 

The shadows were their first disguise. 

Should she flee and nightfall come, my gentle image would be all but lost.

“What you allow is irrelevant,” she said, edging towards the undergrowth. “I’ve made multiple offers through the virtue of my heart. But if you refuse to see the opportunity before you, then I shall take that as a sign that your sword will be more than sufficient.”

“Fine. You may use it to write your apology letter.”

“Thank you. But I’ll be using it to emulate all that you can do with at least 99% accuracy instead. If nothing else, I can guarantee authenticity. I take great pride in that.”

The doppelganger froze.

Like a deer at the snapping of a twig, she stilled until not a single movement could be seen.

And why not?

Against a princess’s amused smile, even the leaves were bewitched.

“... My, is that so? Then I’m afraid it already counts as a failure.”

“What?” 

“That 1% is the distance between the grass and the stars. But since that’s difficult to imagine, allow me to show you the difference between us firsthand.”

“You don’t even have a weapon,” said the doppelganger, her voice torn between incredulity and the certain knowledge that it was already too late for her. 

I leaned forwards slightly. The doppelganger leaned away.

“... Don’t I?”

I offered my warmest smile.

And then–

I held out my hand towards Coppelia.

Clap.

She instantly brought hers together.

However, it wasn’t to summon the scythe left to form a flag in the ground. 

Instead, as her palms released, a window into the abyss was allowed to peer into my realm, once again shattering whatever fabric of reality I probably needed to stay undisturbed.

Regardless, I waited patiently as Coppelia went to work.

Ignoring the doppelganger’s stunned look, she partially disappeared from the side of my vision as she dipped into her black window. She whistled for a few moments, before eventually, the shadows of the woods were swept aside by the sight of flames.

Clink.

Specifically ... the flames of an ancient green dragon engulfing a sword.

With the lightest flick, she brought Dawning Summer home. 

Wreathed in the same unquenchable fury as the moment it was doused in the rage of a dragon maddened by the lustre of gold, it was the sister to Starlight Grace, just as casually offloaded by Grandmother and just as beautiful.

Yes, even as it scorched the grass into blackened ash around it.

“Wha–”

The doppelganger retreated at once, horror on her face as she stared at the flaming weapon.

Horror which slowly turned to confusion as I continued holding out my hand to Coppelia.

Eventually, I felt something in my palm.

“... Will this do?”

“Yes, that’s more than sufficient. Although it looks somewhat familiar as well. Why is that?”

“This is the thing the Snow Dancer used for her [Thirteenfold Silent Aria Of The Moonless Heart].”

“Ugh. You’re giving me something the insane elven woman used? Why do you even have this?”

“Heheh~ I like collecting souvenirs. They’re all mementos, right? Plus you never know when they’ll come in handy. Like now. Want a different one? I have loads.”

“... No, it’s fine. This will do. It’s certainly plain enough. Thank you.”

“Should I put the sword back? It was in the way.”

“No, I’ll be using it soon. The bath needs reheating.”

“Okie~”

I duly nodded as Coppelia closed her still unexplained black window.

Then … I held up a wooden spoon.

The doppelganger stared.

“Ahhahahaha … ahahahahaha … !!”

She lasted barely a breath before bursting into laughter.

All of a sudden, her knees ceased to bend as all thoughts of flight left her. She lifted her head and laughed until the trees began leaning away and the magpies decided once and for all not to return. 

“Ahahahaha … I … I was almost fooled … for a moment, I almost thought you seriously intended to use a spoon … a truly threatening gesture … I apologise, Your Highness, I severely underestimated your talents! You make for a far better actress than I could ever be!”

Her smile was far more genuine than any she’d shown so far.

It even remained that way as it faded.

“You’re … You’re being serious, aren’t you?”

I raised a hand to my lips, barely covering my own smile.

“Ohohoho … I’m always serious.”

“It’s a spoon.”

“No, it’s a gardening instrument. Just highly portable.”

Thus, I raised my improvised pruning tool … and began to twirl.

For a moment, nothing happened except the dipping of the branches. A stillness filled the air as only the sound of something likely never once used as a spoon swished in a familiar motion above my head. 

Then, the fallen leaves stirred, dancing across the grass before swirling in a rising spiral around me.

“Ohohohohohoho!! … My apologies, but while Starlight Grace is preferred, gardening is about heart, not a sword. And mine is one you can never hope to emulate–at least not without knowing the joys of nature. So allow me to demonstrate my finest technique, so that you may admire the results.”

I spoke confidently, all the while offering a beautiful smile.

… Except it was clear that although I had the heart of a gardener, having a dedicated multipurpose gardening tool was still a lot more efficient than a spoon. 

She didn’t need to know this.

As such, I twirled faster and faster, forcing my arms to rotate until muscles I couldn’t name started to ache. It was certainly more haphazard than the technique I’d been carefully refining these past few months. But I couldn’t falter now. 

Not when my own doppelganger was clearly expecting something.

Indeed … I could tell by the way she was sprinting away!

In what was an admittedly impressive sight, she’d decided to prove her claim true. 

Like a mountain goat skipping across a cragged valley, she avoided every fallen log and gnarled root as she promptly vanished from view. But not just because she’d chosen to flee into the shadows.

Rather, all the light had begun to dim.

As the branches dipped, so too did the sun.

With little warning, the first haze of evening peeked between the trees, causing me to wince as it chose to shine exclusively on me. And also the tip of my spoon.

As the nearby daffodils gently shook, both the seeds and the pollen visibly shimmered as they rose past the leaves to join the golden light gathering above.

Naturally, I was delighted!

The shining ball of pollen was somewhat new … but that was fine!

Because most importantly, nothing was crackling, arcing or otherwise looking very alarming!

“Ohohohoho! … It’s time at last for the Mark IV Prototype [Spring Breeze]!”

Leaning far too close, the receptionist blinked with academic curiosity.

“Goodness. This is quite something. May I inquire as to what the Mark IV Prototype [Spring Breeze] is?”

“Why, of course! It’s a vast improvement over the Mark III edition–because although useful for clearing entire gardens of caterpillars, it’s very rare that such a wholesale manner of pest control is required. The Mark IV I’ve been refining fixes that.”

I winced as more light shone into my eyes.

Except it wasn’t entirely from the evening haze.

The ball of shimmering pollen had become so dense that it practically made the wooden spoon the same luminosity as Starlight Grace. But even that wasn’t for long.

As I continued to swish, I saw less of the wooden tip and more just a growing ball of pure, golden light.

Hmmmmmmmm.

“Uwaaah~ it got upgraded. It’s no longer the [Ball Of Doom]. It’s the [Divine Ball Of Doom].”

“C-Coppelia! This is not a [Ball Of Doom] … and yes, while it does look pretty, there’s also nothing divine about this. It’s just my delicate gardening technique made even more delicate.”

“Mmh. I can see that. It’s not shaking or conducting lightning. Is it the spoon?”

“It’s not the spoon, no. It’s the result of weeks of strenuous effort. Instead of refining [Spring Breeze] to punt caterpillars even further, I made this version to be the gentlest of breezes.”

“... Are you suuuure?”

“Very sure.” I smiled confidently. Because confidence was the most important thing. “This is no punishment, but rather a lullaby. It will wash over any rodents or insects like a mother’s humming, coaxing them to a state of calm surrender so that they can be easily carried away.”

Indeed, here was the ultimate sign of a princess’s development!

I only became kinder no matter what foes I faced … and so I offered it to my doppelganger, whose figure could only be faintly heard as she obeyed her instincts and ran away as fast as she could.

As such, I twirled even faster, until the notes of a melody hummed around the woods and the ball of pollen started to glow like a will-o-wisp.

I nodded in satisfaction.

Yes.

This was fine.

I wasn’t secretly terrified.

Not at all.

“V-Very well! ... One blade, one will, ten thousand caterpillars upon the wind.”

Thus, I smiled as I calmly lowered my wooden spoon … then kept one eye shut as I turned slightly away.

“Gardening Form, 7th Stance … [Spring Breeze].”

The shining ball of pollen dimmed.

The world became still.

Silence settled over the woods as even the leaves forgot how to rustle, and for a long moment, even the heavens seemed to hold their breath.

Then … the shining ball of pollen expanded.

There was no catapulting me off my feet. No gentle scream as I waited for Coppelia to catch me and then hopefully for a mage to catch her in turn.

There was only light.

It filled my vision, erasing the world until all I could see was white.

In my blindness, a rushing tide of noise suddenly filled the air. Every leaf whispered in sudden chorus, all the while a familiar warmth brushed against my cheeks like sunlight through a window.

Slowly, the radiance ebbed and sight returned.

However, while colour came back to the world, much of the green of the woods did not.

There was a lake instead, steam rising from its surface as it rippled like a disturbed pond.

Before it, a vast gap now split the woods, marked by a charred scar of earth where the trees had once stood. A newborn river spilled into it where the embankment had entirely vanished.

At the very start of this new landscape feature, a figure lay collapsed.

She slowly raised her head, peered at the blackened vale just around her … then decided to return to her fallen state, paying no heed to the water shortly about to tickle her.

I slowly turned to the two beside me. 

Both were staring at me.

“O-Oho … ohoho … m-my … to think that … that fire breathing man eating death beetles were so close to my home … h-how terrible …”