Chapter 472: To Cut A Moss Cake

A familiar medley of fragrances tickled my nose. Some were sweet. Some were earthy. Some were mellow. Yet within the darkness of my mind, I could picture the swaying irises and magnolias as clearly as the caterpillars always hoping to nibble on them.

I opened my eyes to a scattering of sunlight filtering in between the tree leaves.

Soft and hazy, the light painted the leaves in a gentle glow, while butterflies danced amidst the glossy red apples reflecting the sunlight.

It was a sight I saw often. 

After all, to wake from a long nap after several minutes spent studying was the hallmark of any princess. 

Except this time I wasn’t certain if I was waking up or still in the midst of a dream. 

Indeed, I recognised this scene. 

The feeling of the soft grass cradling the back of my head. The sunlight caressing my face. The scent of summer in full bloom. The sound of songbirds and the rustling of shrubs as crouching servants quickly peeked to see if I was reaching for a bell. 

In fact, there was only one thing that was new.

Hmmppfh.

That would be Apple’s silhouette rising like a great colossus, his shadow consuming the entire tree, even if it was only one of my apples he took.

He swallowed it in a single bite. He then swallowed another. And another.

I blinked several times.

Yes, there could be no denying it.

The orchard within the Royal Villa was my home within a home … but on this occasion, it was also the buffet table for my gluttonous horse.

For a moment, I considered asking him to refrain from consuming my orchard. And yet as I watched the expediency with which he removed both the apples and the leaves surrounding them, I knew this was an opportunity for him to learn an important skill other than carrying me away from an attacking dragon. 

How to garden.

He’d be very busy. But he also wouldn’t be alone.

“Heheheheh~ that’s right. Eat lots and lots. Grow big and strong.”

I turned to the side, my cheek flattening against the grass.

All around me was a sight both familiar and utterly foreign. 

The beds of vibrant flowers were still there. As were the many trees that Apple had clearly begun work on pruning. But other than the branches where he’d selected the most ripe fruit to taste test for quality control, it was clear that no effort had been made to maintain the orchard in my absence. 

Everything that could be overgrown was.

The peonies were invading the hydrangeas. The lilies were hovering over the tulips. The lilacs were staging a coup against the roses. 

Everywhere I saw, flowers which had previously grown in harmony had been left to fend for themselves. And the result was a battlefield of blooms waging petty wars over sunlight and soil.

There was even evidence of saboteurs. 

Much to my dismay, I could clearly spy the telltale signs of badgers and their trails. The gaps wove amidst the tall grass and the shrubs.

… Of course, there was the one Coppelia was feeding as well.

“Not bad, huh?” she said, kneeling while offering an entire bundle of marigolds to the invader. “They’re nice and zesty. Eat as much as you want. Become the destroyer of worlds. Show these dumb humans who deserve to rule over them.”

She smiled brightly as the badger did as instructed. 

Naturally, I was horrified. While removing excess flora was important, it was a very short term solution to do this by hiring garden rodents for help. But that wasn’t the sole reason why my wide open mouth was in threat of eating the grass. 

No … it was the fact that she looked like she’d fought a flower bed and lost.

Leaves, petals, grass … even bits of soil covered her, making an unprecedented mess of both her rosy pink shoes and her fluffy golden hair. 

“Coppelia!” I sat up at once. “Are you well? You look awful!”

“Ooh~ you’re awake!” Coppelia turned her smile to me at once. The badger immediately scurried away to less green pastures. The first sign of normality. “You were taking ages to exit Emergency Coma Mode. I was almost worried!”

“Worrying is what I need to do! Why do you look like you waged war against a tulip?”

“That’s because I did!” 

Coppelia stood up and proudly lifted a pair of garden shears. 

They were the exact type the stewards offered whenever they saw me using a sword with tears in their eyes. Except she held it less like a gardening tool and more like a murderer holding a knife.

“I sort of tried helping,” she said. “I’m glad I did. I can now say I’m terrible at gardening.”

“Coppelia! … Is that how you’ve been using the shears?”

“Mmh~! I thought it’d give me more control. I don’t think it did. Guess I’m no natural, huh? Oh well, at least I tried. You know, while you were sleeping and not watching. That means I definitely don’t need to do this again. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t lift the flower knife again! I don’t want to damage your orchard. I’m a gardening disaster.”

She nodded repeatedly, all the while enthusiastically stabbing up and down.

I could scarcely believe it.

Why, to create such a mess at her first gardening attempt was beyond all expectation! She wasn’t just hopeless! She was dangerous!

Thus, I sprang to my feet and hurried to her. I took the garden shears, realigned them, then returned them to her hands and covered her grip with mine so we held them together.

I offered a smile of joy.

“Coppelia! You tried gardening!”

She blinked at me.

“... Eh?”

“That’s … That’s wonderful! I’m utterly delighted!

“Hm? But I failed! Just look at the mess! All immaculately placed!”

“That’s fine! The first time doing anything is never easy unless I’m doing it! I promise it will become easier with time!”

“Waitwaitwait. I don’t think it’ll become easier! It’ll definitely only become harder!”

“Not with me teaching you! The fact that you tried is the most important thing of all! … My, and here I was, wondering how much of the Royal Vault to bribe you with in order to take that first step!”

“You were going to bribe me with your vault?!”

Coppelia looked appalled.

I was touched. 

Why, that was the expression of one who would never accept a bucket of gold crowns, trinkets, artifacts and assorted jewellery to convince her to start gardening!

“Now that you’ve clearly and irrevocably shown interest, I cannot in good conscience allow you to abandon this endeavour on such a bitter note! Rest assured, I shall accompany you on this journey–just as you did on mine.”

“Ehhh … eehhhh?”

I nodded with a princess’s determination.

Indeed!

She’d stood by my side through all that mud had to offer. I would do the same. Albeit only because the mud was from my own garden. And it was just finely cultivated soil.

I tightly clasped her hands in mine, all the while avoiding the garden shears.

“You needn’t fear,” I declared. “Just as you never wavered, neither shall I. It matters not what mistakes you make. Everything can be regrown. What’s most important is nurturing your growth as a gardener.”

Coppelia’s mouth widened as she made an odd gurgling sound. And why not?

Joy spoke its own language.

“Let’s see … we’ll need to find time to incorporate gardening into your training duties. Sadly, it’s not a requirement for the regular maids despite my frequent suggestions it should be. Of course, we’ll need to make modifications to your custom uniform to allow it to be as garden-friendly as possible. It’ll need to be durable. But I’ll obviously help with the design. What is your preference for frills?”

Coppelia stared as I released her hands. The garden shears fell limply to the ground.

She looked down at it and hummed.

“... Does it have to be flowers?” she asked after a moment’s thought.

“Excuse me?”

“Are flowers the only thing I can grow? Isn’t gardening more than just daisies? You can grow other things using soil and it counts, right?”

“Well, yes? So long as you’re cultivating using the garden, then by definition it counts.”

“Great!” Coppelia beamed. “Then that means I can grow whatever plant life I want!”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

All of a sudden, my princess senses tingling.

Frankly, the use of the term ‘plant life’ was highly suspect … but all things had to start somewhere.

“I-Indeed, one of the joys of gardening is to see your own choice of … plant life grow.” 

“In that case, maybe I’ll try just a little! … But it’ll have to wait a few days. I’ll need to source the seeds from the fire elemental at the library.”

“... Coppelia, is it illegal or dangerous?”

She raised her fists to her chest and nodded. 

“Loads!”

All of a sudden, her face was filled with enthusiasm. 

On one hand, that was good. On everyone else’s hands, that was also deeply concerning. But there were already exploding tea pots here. Nothing she grew could possibly be worse. Probably.

… Thus, I spun around while searching for the furthest corner she could use.

All I saw was a reminder that this wasn’t where I was before.

“Coppelia … I cannot help but notice that this isn’t the library.”

“Yup.”

“It also seems to be morning.” I paused. “... It is morning, yes?”

“It’s morning. You were still out for ages, though. I was worried I’d need to start mixing my special smoothie. The maids were fussing over you as well. They were deciding when it was safe to start poking your cheeks for fun.”

“That time is never. If they start poking my cheeks, it’d mean firing more staff. That’s simply awful. If I abuse my finger too much, it’ll start to lose effectiveness.”

“Well, if you do fire more, you should hire that receptionist. She always seems to be around when you spontaneously lose consciousness. Someone like that is definitely handy to have around, huh?”

I let out a groan.

Although the bleariness had cleared from my eyes, the harbinger of doom’s smile stubbornly refused to fade from my memory. 

Just like the words she spoke.

Congratulations! You are now an SS+ rank adventurer!

I’d risen in rank. Again. And this time to something so absurd that I could immediately feel myself falling into an even deeper slumber.

“Indeed, I can imagine many faraway places she could be useful. Where is she now, then?”

“She left. She said she had important matters to discuss with all the other receptionists.”

I offered a nod of acknowledgement. 

“I see ... how expected.”

“Eh?”

“To deliberately lure me out again with the prospect I might stop her is a cunning ploy. Well, I refuse to fall for it. That woman is no mere receptionist. She’s a messenger sent by those hoping to see their favourite princess stumble. And while she’s not the first, she will be the last. From this moment on … I, Juliette Contzen, shall never leave the Royal Villa again!”

I smiled with confidence.

Indeed!

Hoodlums. Fae. Nobility. Receptionists … more hoodlums!

She and all the rest of them had utterly failed!

Everything they did was for the sole purpose of stopping me from returning to my orchard! And I’d not only survived, but triumphed!

True, I wasn’t undamaged from the ordeal. That was the sort of thing dancing mice did to me. 

However!

While the rest had shamelessly sought to laugh at my expense, the last laugh was mine! And now all they could do was hear the beautiful echo forever!

Ohohohohohohooho!

Thus, I took in a deep breath and smiled at my surroundings. At my home within a home. And at the promise of peace and safety–no matter what anyone said. 

Yes … even Coppelia.

“Pffffffft~”

“C-Coppelia … ?!”

“Ahahahaha~”

“Coppelia! That is not the correct laugh … it must be mocking and spiteful, not hopelessly amused! Why are you laughing like that?!”

“I mean, there’s no way you’ll ever be allowed to just stay in one place. Before you know it, something’s going to explode and you’ll have to fix it.”

“T-That will not happen! And if it does, I’ll just look away! There’s no need for me to personally fix everything! I’m … I’m a princess! My lackeys can do everything in my place! My knights are highly capable and–”

“Ahahaahahhaahahahahaa~”

She instantly placed her arms around her tummy, bent over as she let out her mirth.

I pursed my lips.

Very well. I only had myself to blame for that.

“The quality of my knights aside, I’m confident nobody will dare accost me or cause anything to explode now that I’ve safely returned ... but just in case, we can build taller walls.”

“Mmh?” Coppelia smiled as she held back her laughter. “You wanna build more walls?”

“Yes. There’s no time to waste. In order to ensure I cannot see anything that occurs outside, I must make sure the Royal Villa is more than a home. It needs to be a fortress.”

“Like the one on Soap Island?”

“Like the one on Soap Island. Indeed, if the goblins prove capable, then I can ask them to make improvements here as well. Goodness knows that if we have a goblin fortress here, everyone including nobility will stay away. That is the finest insurance we can have.”

I brightened as I looked around me. 

The walls were tall. But there was clearly room for improvement. Goblins would be excellent for that. And why not the witches too? 

Together, they could create a bastion of woe that would keep even doom away!

“Very well,” I said, knowing what needed to be done. “We can begin your gardening training soon. And also sending out urgent letters to those I can exact heavy discounts from.”

Coppelia raised her arms in joy.

“Wooooooooooo! Reckless infrastructure projects! Let’s build a huge fortress!”

“Indeed, it’ll be as splendid as utterly unforgiving to those seeking my time. But before we can begin, there’s something important we must do.”

“Got it! I’ll begin shipping the poetry books to the big guy!”

“Yes, we need to do what I definitely didn’t forget. But I refer to something even more important. A tradition we must uphold, now that we’ve returned to my orchard.”

“Oooh~ sounds formal! What is it?”

“Do you have any strawberry shortcakes?”

Coppelia nodded at once.

She delved into her pouch, rummaged at the very bottom, then retrieved something so old that I didn’t know if the moss I saw was what was originally there or recently grew.

“I have a goblin moss cake!”

I stared at the stale confectionery.

“... Very well!” I said with a nod. “That will do.” 

“Wow, really?”

“Really. Please place it on the branch over there.”

Not bothering to hide her curiosity, Coppelia skipped to my favourite apple tree. 

The apple tree now with significantly fewer apples on it, owing to the gluttonous horse who at least had the shame to look very slightly guilty.

Still, he ignored the goblin moss cake as Coppelia hopped to place it on the lowest branch.

“Done!”

I offered a nod as I approached the apple tree.

Then, I drew Starlight Grace from my side.

Now returned to its rightful place, my multipurpose gardening instrument illuminated even the day, for now it could perform its most dedicated task beyond punting away fruit slimes.

Reaching up, I tapped at the side of the branch. 

The moss cake dropped with ease. As it fell, I angled my sword–

And allowed the highly suspect snack to fall across the edge of the blade, cleanly slicing itself into two half-moon pieces.

Still as keen as the last morning I napped in my orchard, the moss cake could barely be seen to split. Only when I caught it in my hand did it separate as two perfectly green halves.

One for Coppelia. One for Apple. 

“Hm hm hm hm hmm ♫.”

I generously offered it out to them.

Neither took what I offered. 

I persisted. They eventually gave in. Especially as my smile only brightened.

As for myself, I had no need to call for any strawberry shortcakes.

After all, right now–

I already had everything I wished for.