Chapter 477: A Princess’s Tower

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.Within the early hours of the morning, barely a whisper could be heard.

As the Royal Villa stirred awake, only the distant song of bluebirds was there to serenade the staff as they diligently set out for their duties. 

Kitchen porters ferried deliveries from the gates. Stablegirls fought to untangle a certain horse’s mane. Knights held back their yawns from their midnight vigils. 

The rhythm of footsteps mingled with the soft chirping, growing steadily more voluminous as the first light of day crept over the horizon and into my bedroom.

I pulled my duvet slightly higher.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Although dawn had scarcely risen above this fair realm, a warm shaft of sunlight peeked through the curtains, falling upon the socks that didn’t exist and tickling my forehead as I gently woke from my slumber. 

“... Princess! It’s already past midday!” 

“Your Highness! The king and queen are still expecting you in the dining chamber.”

“Lunch is almost finished! It’s your favourite apple tartlet dressed up as a healthy salad too!”

“Princess, the afternoon will soon be over. You must wake up.”

Thus, with a yawn as delicate as the falling dew, I turned and stuffed my face into my pillow.

With the smallest movements, I buried my face in each corner in search of the coldest little pocket. Summer silk and embroidery squished against my cheeks as darkness filled my vision.

I paused to assess the sensation.

Soft. Ever so soft. Warm without retaining excess heat. Cool without unsettling the skin. Large enough to not require doubling up. And faintly scented with lavender.

An almost perfect pillow. 

9.5/10.

And that meant … I’d need to toss it through the window. 

Because here in a princess’s tower, almost perfect wasn’t enough.

“Heh … Heheheh … heheheheh …”

That’s right.

There was no need to subject myself to the standards of wayfarers and hoodlums. Here within the sanctuary of my bedroom, the word compromise was as foreign as a ceiling with mice dancing upon it. 

I paused, then listened closely.

Nothing.

I smiled into the pillow, basking in my own joy all the while kicking my feet up and down.

Ohohoohoho!

Indeed! 

This … This was wonderful!

No more did I need to wake to the promise of mud and dry croissants! Now the only questionable pastries I needed to ignore were the goblin moss cakes Coppelia had somehow convinced the kitchens to include in the à la carte menu!

“It’s no good. The princess has barricaded herself.”

“Then we do what we always do. Lana, can you pry open the door?”

“I’m trying, but the door isn’t budging. There’s a heavy object on the other side.”

“That can’t be right. We deliberately hollowed all the furniture to prevent that from happening.” 

Wearing a beautiful smile, I hugged the pillow, and still pressing it against my face, I rolled.

I rolled to my left. 

I rolled to my right. 

I rolled back and forth, over and over again, my dishevelled hair and sloppy appearance unseen by any innkeepers or barmaids warning that if I didn’t leave I’d be outrageously charged for another evening.

Indeed, I could stay in my bed as long as I wished!

… Just as I had for each day since my return!

Despite the short few weeks that had passed since my return to the Royal Villa, my delight hadn’t lessened. On the contrary, it only increased with each successful night I wasn’t pulled away by the whims of those with far, far less time than me. 

The scars of my royal tour continued to haunt my dreams, and occasionally my rolling as I paused to listen for any stray rumbling, explosions, fires or cackling laughter. 

Instead ... all I heard was the sound of my own satisfaction. 

I intended for this to continue. As was my right.

“I budged it just a little. I think I saw something sparkly blocking the way.” 

“It’s the princess’s magical bed. She’s using it as an obstacle. We won’t be able to open the door normally. We’ll need to enact Emergency Protocol: Dawn’s Herald.”

“Really? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

“The queen has ordered us to ensure the princess comes to lunch. We cannot fail.” 

“Very well … let’s get what we need, then.”

Thoroughly tiring myself out, I ceased to roll and relaxed. 

Especially as the odd noise directly outside my door scampered away.

Thus, as the early morning sunshine continued to intrude past the curtains, I rose from my bed at a pace of 1.2 inches per minute. Once my vertical journey was complete, I sat up and … ah, what was this? 

My, a strawberry shortcake on my nightstand!

What a delight! How did such a treat come to appear as though tactically placed in advance by a princess after sneaking off the night before? 

How very convenient that such a breakfast would be waiting for me!

“Om nom nom nom …”

Delighted at the start of my day, I nibbled away, ignoring all thoughts concerning the healthiness of consuming so much flour, sugar and strawberries so soon after waking up. 

Then, after thoroughly enjoying myself, I exited my cherished bed and made my way to the bathroom.

Sadly, there was no steaming bathwater awaiting me. It was cold and dreary, the petals of honeysuckle and orange blossoms floating lifelessly upon it. But while that was an inconvenience, it wouldn’t be for long. 

There upon a stone slab was a far more economical solution than bringing up the kettles of hot water that had previously been done. 

After all, unlike the flames in the kitchens, this one never ran out.

Dawning Summer burned merrily away.

Formerly my grandmother’s enchanted sword and now my bathtub heating device, it hid behind a partition, offering a reading light when it wasn’t being used to warm up my baths. 

“Hm hm hm hm hmm ♫.”

Already looking forward to what was to come, I used a metal prong normally reserved for poking hearths to nudge the stone slab carrying the sword all the way until it was beside my bathtub.

Within moments, the scent of the petals began to come to life.

I nodded in satisfaction.

However, since it’d still take a little bit of time before the first of the bubbles would appear, I efficiently returned to my room, before pausing beside the largest bookshelf. Flinging the history grimoires to the floor, I retrieved a stack of everything expertly hidden behind, then carried it to my bed.

Fwump.

I duly flopped down amidst a pile of tumbling bestsellers.

The Dragon Duke Steals My Heart. A Spellbound Witch’s Quest. Taming The Forbidden Tides. The Chosen Hero’s Unchosen Bride … and a special advance edition of A Court Lady’s Indiscretion, Vol. 6, courtesy of the most well connected librarian an innocent maiden studying popular literature could ask for.

It was all the worst, and some might say best, adventure romance books released in the past month.

I wiped a line of drool from my lips. 

A moment later … I was in princess mode.

Scandalous tales against my pillow. Check!

Plate of shortcake to my side. Check!

Warming fragrance drifting from the bathroom. Check!

Ohohohohoho!! 

Yes! It was all I needed! 

With the Winter Queen’s crystal bed shoved against the door, the maids had as much hope of forcing entry as my parents did in luring me out of my bedroom! 

Indeed, with my grandmother’s flaming sword to permanently heat my bathtub, my reinforced magical bed and my paid stooges to catapult snacks directly through my window, my fortress was complete!

The Princess Bastion was impenetrable!

Desserts! Bathtub! Entertainment!

In order to make amends for all my missed appointments with indulgence, relaxation and sloth, I would dedicate every minute of my schedule to restoring balance … and utterly nothing would take me away! 

Pwoooomph.

Unless, of course, it was the fact that the maids were nothing if not diligent.

And also very difficult to bribe. 

Likely since Mother officially had more crowns than me.

Looking past my shoulder while lounging on my bed, I observed a handful of maids standing in the doorway, a portable siege ram in their hands as they looked expressionlessly down upon the remains of the door blanketing the Winter Queen’s bed.

Still wielding the siege ram as though expecting to use it, the maid at the head of the group offered a respectful bow.

“Your Highness, my apologies for the disturbance,” she said, her voice calm and polite. “The king and queen have requested your presence in the dining chamber. Lunch has been readied.”

I stared at the remnants of my door.

Then, I elegantly raised myself from my sprawling posture, all the while stuffing my stack of books beneath my pillow while the maids pretended not to see.

“Very well,” I said with a nod. “Thank you for informing me. I wasn’t aware that lunch was ready. I shall, of course, join Mother and Father in the dining chamber shortly. I just need a moment to dress myself.”

“Of course.”

The maids diligently waited to accompany me.

I offered them a smile, then strolled to the balcony door and threw it open, ready to begin my escape down the oaken orange tree.

TWROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

I was instantly met by the sound of the world ending instead.

The moment I opened my balcony door, a fanfare of trumpets blared.

Indeed, because aside from the sounds of bluebirds singing, of stablegirls grooming horses and knights yawning, there was also … that.

A literal gathering of half of my kingdom's knights.

Camped around the Royal Villa, they laughed, sparred and traded hair wax, performing the traditional rituals before converging upon the royal capital for the festival and all the jousting only they cared about. 

Together with the maids, they ensured that if one group didn’t wake me, the other would. 

I dared to tiptoe a few steps towards the edge of the balcony, then peeked over to see a group of knights already waiting at the bottom of the orange tree, arms out as though hoping I’d fall during my escape.

I pursed my lips.

Indeed, it was that time at last.

The Summer Solstice Festival was finally here. 

To the commoners, it meant an appalling amount of alcohol and public vandalism. But for a princess, it meant public engagements, tea parties, endless soirées and matters of diplomacy.

Soon, representatives of the greatest powers would all gather in my kingdom’s heart. Yet whether they be ambassadors complaining about the draft in Reitzlake Castle or ragged swordsmen taking part in the famed Arena Grand Tournament, it was a given that intrigue, conspiracy and mystery be as ever present as the sound of hooliganism.

In short … all the things I’d be ignoring!

I scrunched my fists in determination.

Yes.

I might not be able to escape my mother’s maids, but I could the wrongdoings of those around me!

I, Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea … would absolutely not be drawn into any plots, conspiracies, intrigue, or mysteries!

Absolutely! Not!

After all, I’d officially fixed everything!

I had only one job remaining! And that was to laze until any niggling concerns I may have forgotten about simply went away!

And if not, well–

I looked over to Starlight Grace, lounging amidst its own pile of pillows.

I’ve still been practising my punts.