Chapter 465: The Measure Of Joy

To be a doppelganger was to be an enigma.Despite their place in history, little was known about them beyond the tales. 

After all, to find one was to search for a shadow in the night. 

They were in the nightmares of kings and those tasked to protect them. Betraying neither magic nor imperfections, they could slink into the depths of a castle to supplant a ruler as easily as the wind bends the grass, seizing their features as their own and all their realm along with it. 

Or they could simply be there to offer a replacement service package at a reasonable price. 

And that’s if they weren’t busy doing other things. Such as selling goods in a marketplace, ploughing wheat in a field or pouring ale in a tavern.

The truth was that the rumours were far more colourful than the reality. 

Although able to take on the appearance of anyone who interested them, this very rarely involved taking their identity as well. In days past, doppelgangers freely assumed the names of those whose faces they borrowed, but such acts were now broadly frowned upon for a simple reason.

They would be discovered. 

It was the only law when it came to being a doppelganger.

Whether by an accidental faux pas or the squinting of a powerful adventurer, an imposter would always be discovered, and the repercussions would be determined solely by what they had done.

A doppelganger who’d tried to seize an empire was very likely to be looked upon less favourably than one who merely wished to live an earnest life … or at least as earnest as possible while also possessing incredibly attractive features and a smile that could do no wrong. 

After all, although they might be selling, ploughing or pouring, more often than not, it was because they owned their little spot in the marketplace, their fields and their tavern.

Doppelgangers were exceptional traders. A secret only trolls were wary of.

To navigate the various hurdles of shapeshifting required natural charisma, and with it came the ability to live in blissful comfort without the need to invite a civil war to achieve it.  

As a result, the presiding thought was that initiating coups was better left to necromancers puppeteering a living corpse of a monarch.

Doppelgangers were pragmatic. And when replacing royalty resulted in a century of every decent bar being warded by a truesight ward, nothing was more frightening than the ire of their own peers.

Until now.

“Puh … pluh … bluh … pah … !”

Now there was another reason not to bother with royalty.

For example … being catapulted into a lake infested with things boasting more teeth than scales, all of which fled from Joy as she almost flattened them like the world’s worst albatross. 

Had she been anything less than a doppelganger, she might have accepted her fate then and there.

Instead, only the sound of gurgling and not broken bones sounded as the viscous nature of her body absorbed the impact. Yet while she could avoid being eaten by whatever that horrible silhouette she briefly glimpsed below the surface was, she could do little against the humiliation.

Or the duckweeds in her hair. 

Partially doggy paddling and partially rowing with a sword, she made her way to the grassy edge of the lake, spluttering as she crawled her way up the embankment. 

She remained on her hands and knees as the water clung to her every pore and soaked through her dress, all the while being laughed at by a nearby chestnut tree. 

The leaves pulled away just to stick onto her face, despite the fact it wasn’t even windy.

And that’s when Joy stopped feeling joyful.

“Guhhrrrr … !!”

She struck the ground with both fists, pitifully beating the wet grass.

Again and again, her blows landed, doing little more than flattening the blades beneath her.

In her mind, she imagined the very ground caving in, but this wasn’t Sweet Miran the Gladiator she was impersonating in order for her to avoid another fan signing. Now she was a weak and pitiful princess without an ounce of strength. 

Except when it came to the sword.

Joy pulled the duckweeds from her hair, then took a deep breath as she stared at the dim blade.

She’d felt it as soon as she lifted it.

Up until that moment, she’d merely intended to replace the princess just long enough to see out all the reforms needed to thoroughly sabotage everything she ever knew or loved while being paid in the process. 

However … the feeling when she gripped the hilt was more than familiarity.

It was belonging. 

That sword had spent more time in the princess’s hand than any silver spoon in her mouth … and yet Joy could never have predicted what would occur if she followed where her arms had guided her.

A wind technique powerful enough to blow a hole through a wall.

Just like that.

No martial incantation. No manifestation of the will. No circle of flames or prayer to the god of war. 

It was utterly ludicrous.

That girl wasn’t just any princess. She was a sword princess through and through. 

For all their natural talents, no doppelganger could emulate a sword technique without effort. Few could in any capacity, otherwise there’d be fewer traders for trolls to compete with and more heroes for the Adventurer’s Guild to hire.

It was only due to the princess’s familiarity with the weapon that Joy could retrace the movements with ease. And that filled her with as much delight as apprehension.

The girl’s collaboration was needed. 

There was much about the sword she didn’t know. 

More concerningly, however, was that she could feel her appearance slipping. 

She checked her chin, poked her cheeks and wriggled her nose. Being catapulted into a lake was one thing, but the water damping her skin was another. She could feel herself wishing to fling it all off like a sodden rag. But her will was stronger than that.

Just as her wish was.

One way or another, she would ensure the Contzens received their just due.

The princess was wrong. Joy had no intention of taking over her kingdom. That would mean spending even a second longer than necessary here. 

Instead, she’d do the bare minimum to utterly destroy the girl’s standing and then leave, all the while keeping her appearance. The sooner the better.

It wasn’t just the princess’s strength which stunned her, but her uncanny wits.

There was more behind those eyes than just cakes and flowers. When she peered into the girl’s mind, the thoughts were so nonsensical that they had to be a deliberate ploy to distract her. That was the mark of one versed against mental attacks. 

She’d almost overstayed to confirm it.

No more.

Maintaining the appearance would be problematic. But that was an issue for the future. 

Now she had to make use of it the best she could. Only once she was finished dooming the princess’s family could she consider which other kingdoms to improve. And perhaps once the girl was a pauper, she’d be more inclined to accept the next offer on the table.

“Oh? That expression’s almost believable. You should maintain it.”

Joy blinked as an unfamiliar voice came from nearby.

She instantly rose, sword gripped as she wore a frown in place of the smile she’d practiced. Ignoring the clamminess of the dress against her skin, she swung around until she found her company. 

She stepped back instinctively.

There, perched upon the branch of the chestnut tree, was a girl with fair skin and scarlet lips.

Shadows partially veiled her face, yet did little to hide the eyes of crimson and gold that gleamed beneath a fringe of dark hair. With her pale complexion and striking beauty, she could have made a finer vampire than that librarian who sought only ink and not blood.

This girl.

She was most certainly human … and yet Joy could only doubt what her own eyes told her.

“Worse,” said the visitor, crossing her legs as though sat upon a chair. “That one she certainly wouldn’t do. The frown you had before was almost perfect. You must imagine me like the unnecessary nuisance I am, appearing only to say something senseless before disappearing again.”

The girl leaned slightly forwards, her elbow against her thigh and her cheek propped to her palms in much the same way the princess had done moments ago on the balcony.

She twisted her lips into a mature smile.

Joy didn’t return it.

Nothing.

She sensed nothing.

There was not a single thought. When Joy opened her ears, it was more than words she heard. It was the hum of their minds. And while they were indistinct like a murmur in the background, it was enough to make out the intentions of those who spoke to her.

Not her.

Joy did not hear a single thing. 

“... Who are you?” she asked with a frown, her shoulders snapping into place. “You are disturbing a princess in the privacy of the royal grounds.” 

The girl’s smile didn’t shift. It only became more visible in the shadows.

“You are not a princess. If you were, the way you crash into a lake would be more graceful.”

“If you’ve any concerns for my well-being, you needn’t offer them. I ask that you please not pry into my affairs, no matter how .. unusual they may seem.”

“It wasn't unusual, merely inelegant. It was like watching a boulder careening off a cliff. I suppose this is why so few incidents of doppelgangers pretending to be princesses ever reach my ears.” 

Joy found herself tensing.

Her instincts to escape pricked at the back of her neck. And yet those same instincts told her it would be to little avail. Escape artist that she was, there was something … wrong about this girl. 

Nor was she the only one to think that.

All of a sudden, the dim light surrounding her sword began to sharpen.

“Who are you?” she asked again, her frown genuine.

“A background prop, utterly worthless and with no redeeming features. Should the princess meet me, she wouldn’t even deem me worthy of an unflattering title and name.”

“That doesn’t tell me who you are. Why are you here? You … You do not belong here.”

“True, I belong by the side of Her Most Gracious Excellency, who in all her wisdom opted to send me here to do things nobody’s ears deserve to hear.”

Joy gave a small nod, all the while eying the nearest thicket beyond the fields.

“I see. A spy, I take it?”

“If I were, I wouldn't be sitting in a tree. I’d be feigning life as a royal maid. Can you tell me if the work is enjoyable?”

“It isn’t. But you’re welcome to apply. There’s now a vacancy. I’ve left to do more fulfilling work.” 

“Not as a princess I hope. Your shortcomings are quite formidable.”

“My shortcomings are in how I fall into a lake, not how I hold myself outside of it. I hope to spend most of my time there. I’m certain I’ll have fewer complaints.”

“Fewer. But not none. I suppose you might fool a prince in Lissoine. Their standards for princesses grow bleaker with each passing year. But you will never pass as the 3rd Princess. Otherwise, you would have used the sword in your grip in such a way as to slow your descent.”

Joy could only stare.

For a moment, she waited for the confirmation of a jest. Except it became clear this wasn’t one.

That was ridiculous. To use a sword to combat gravity was inconceivable to her. Especially when all she saw were a brief few seconds of landscape, a rapidly approaching lake and then whatever was beneath. 

For the princess to be capable of doing something like that was one thing, but even having time to think was another. With each passing minute, she only made less sense.

“... What do you know about her?” asked Joy frankly, daring to stay but a moment longer.

“Less than you, it appears. I personally wouldn’t dare invite her ire. At least not by assuming her face. You must see great worth in this tiny kingdom to expend your time to upheave it. How awful. To do something like that is the mark of a true scoundrel.” 

“I haven’t assumed her appearance to cause an upheaval. I’ve done it to ensure stability.”

“Really now, despite what others may feel, I cannot read minds–yet even I know your statement is hopelessly fraudulent. If you ever wish to play the part of a princess, you shall need to be able to claim that a spoon is a fork and to convince them of this.”

Joy pursed her lips.

Then, she simply looked away.

“Then I shall take your advice to heart. But not here or now.”

Unwilling to waste more time with random nefarious humans loitering by a lake, Joy turned her attention to the nearest avenue of retreat.

“Ah. How disappointing.”

… only to glance back upon hearing a telltale sigh that this conversation was yet to be finished.

“... Is there something else?”

“No, there isn’t. A shame. A doppelganger in the guise of that princess promised to be a curious asset. I was very close to scurrying you away. But it’s clear you lack more than her falling posture. You haven’t an inkling of her righteousness.”

“Righteousness … ?”

All of a sudden, Joy’s growing sense of uncertainty was replaced with burning indignation.

“You … You cannot claim that girl even knows the definition of it! Have you seen her? Have you seen any of them? That entire family is without even a shred of good in them! … That princess alone is a terror!

“Yes, and I believe wholeheartedly that if I were to appear before her, she would never consider entertaining such a cordial conversation with me. Her response would be far more appropriate.”

“Oh? And what is that? How should I respond exactly? By inviting you to tea and cake?”

The girl smiled.

Pwooomph.

It disappeared a moment later as the branch she was sitting on utterly disintegrated.

Joy watched with no small amount of horror as a cloud of splinters and leaves replaced it. But there was no falling corpse split in two to join where the shower of young conkers had fallen. 

Just a falling mist from an enormous black scythe now lodged into the trunk of the chestnut tree.

“Huh, that was weird.”

An innocent voice came from behind. 

Turning around, Joy tightened her grip on her borrowed sword.

“I wonder who she was. I was going to throw my scythe at you, but when I saw that girl doing my sitting-in-a-tree thing, I had this really big urge to throw it at her instead.”

The clockwork doll, now fully dressed, tilted her head in thought at the scythe stuck in a tree.

Then, she shrugged and beamed.

“Alrighty, Doppliette~! Time to see if you’re as stupid fast.”