Chapter 438: An Even Gentler Princess

A shiver ran up my spine.Something … Something was wrong.

I didn’t know what. I didn’t know where. But something terrible had happened.  

… Fortunately, while I didn’t know why my princess senses were tingling, I did have the means to escape!

A very large dwarven landship.

Armoured in plates of black iron and armed with an impressive array of runed cannons, the biggest of which was still smoking, it was a rolling fortress daunting enough to ensure that whatever trauma was coming for me, I’d be well protected … especially once it was fixed.

Clang. Clang. Clang.

All around the underground dockyard, the sound of rehabilitation filled the air.

Dwarves busied themselves repairing the various dents and holes, pausing only to occasionally glance in horror towards my direction.

I hardly saw why.

The armoured construct standing beside me truly wasn’t that frightening. 

Indeed, despite being newly released from her magical shackles, Belinda the golem harboured little resentment towards her former wardens. 

Instead, she pinched a tiny clipboard between a blocky finger and thumb, nodding in approval while helping to supervise the repair efforts.

“They’re just as hard working as ever,” she said in a proud tone. “I know your first impressions can’t really be the best, but when it comes to doing a good job, I’d honestly trust few others. They can be a little boisterous at times, but by and large, they take their work very seriously.”

I clapped my hands in joy, all the while ignoring the feeling of impending doom.

“Excellent! There will be ample opportunities to prove their remorse. It’ll begin with fixing the blemishes on the landship … which is everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. It’s far too dark and monotone. And while this isn’t an issue underground, it is everywhere else. Simply fixing the holes isn’t enough. It needs to be improved. That means new embellishments, a proper colour scheme, and a purpose-built dining chamber and reception hall.”

A few sniffles met my words, overjoyed by the chance to turn a new leaf.

I responded with an angelic smile.

Naturally, it mattered little to me how muddied their faces were. I saw in them the opportunity to sweat it all away. From a healthy distance.

“A new dining chamber sounds lovely,” said Belinda approvingly. “The current interior is a bit cramped. These days, it really isn’t enough to just be functional, is it? It should also be spacious and enjoyable.”

“My, I’m glad you agree!”

“... Although with that said, I do have a question as well.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Well, I know you want this landship on the surface, but do you have something in mind for bringing it up there? I don’t think there are any passages wide enough for taking a landship to the surface. You’ll need to dig one yourself, and I really don’t advise that on practicality or cost grounds.”

I hummed in thought.

True, this was somewhat of an issue.

Neither cost nor practicality mattered to me, of course, but digging a hole larger than a well was hardly something I wanted. It’d be filled with wealthy uncles within days.

Thus, I looked around the dockyard. At everything required to build a landship. And also to take it apart.

“I see … in that case, what if the thing was dismantled and put together again on the surface?”

The golem stared.

“You want to rebuild a dwarven landship?”

“No, I want to rebuild it but better. By completely taking it apart, we can put it back together in a way which vastly improves its appearance, comfort levels and the number of guest suites. This is an opportunity that just a normal do-over won’t achieve.”

A moment of silence met my perfectly reasonable suggestion.

“It’s not impossible. But it is unprecedented. At least on this sort of scale. A dwarven landship has a lot of moving parts. Nobody’s really had a reason to disassemble one just to piece it back together again.”

“Well, there is now.” I offered a warm smile, confident in anything a magical golem could poke underlings to do. “Do you think this landship could be rebuilt in time for the Summer Solstice Festival?” 

“When is the Summer Solstice Festival?”

“In exactly two months.”

“Oh, in that case, not a chance.”

Hmmmmmmm.

That was somewhat disappointing. The Summer Solstice Festival was the premier gala of the kingdom. Having my own dwarven landship blocking the view of the nobility would have been wonderful.

“Very well, then. I suppose I’ll have to wait for next year to decide how best to use it.”

“Weeeell, it probably won’t–”

“Which is why I’ll request your assistance on the matter at once. If you could oversee the reconstruction of the landship, I’d be deeply grateful. Naturally, I’ll also be rewarding you for this effort. Once built, the landship could use someone familiar with its functions to supervise the crew.” 

The golem paused.

“That does sound interesting … but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. I can tell you really want a landship, and I’m very happy to help as much as I can with that. But if you’re speaking long term, then I think I’d like to use my freedom to explore the world.” 

“Oh? Then that’s all the more reason to accept. Have you ever been to the surface before?”

“Not personally, no. But I’ve heard many things about it. Mostly bad, but I’m feeling adventurous.”

“Then whatever you’ve heard has been understated. The surface is a terrible place.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Greed and ambition is the hallmark of many who walk upon it. There are those who would see a golem walking free and stop at no lengths to acquire you for themselves. Should you choose to embark upon a landship, however, you’ll be able to explore away while also making it known that you’re affiliated with the Kingdom of Tirea. As powerful as your fists are, such backing will grant you even more protection if ever you decide to journey on your own.”

Belinda looked up in thought.

“... I do feel a sense of responsibility for this group,” she said, nodding at the dwarves who needed to take down everything they’d just put up. “Perhaps I could look after them a little longer, at least until I’ve decided what I want to do.”

I nodded enthusiastically.

Ohohohoho … and so The Gentle Princess II was officially on its way to my kingdom’s shores!

Granted, it wouldn’t be able to go past those shores … in fact, I wasn’t even certain if it counted as part of our navy, but either way, I could see the Royal Treasury burgeoning! 

Why, the amount of crowns I could charge for a trip through a dwarven landship would be enough to earn a second tower dedicated just for storing my emergency pillow stockpile!

Indeed, this was wonderful!

“–Alrighty! I have good news and bad news!”

So much so, that all I could feel was horror upon hearing Coppelia’s cheerful voice.

Practically bounding off the landship, she skipped towards me with a smile I knew I wouldn’t be sharing. 

As a princess, there was no such thing as good news or bad news. Just news which brought me out of bed. And that made everything equally bad.

“Wait!” I held up my arms in a ‘X’ shape. “No more explosions! If something’s about to turn into a ball of flames, I … I don’t need to know about it!”

“In that case, no worries~! Nothing’s about to explode. I’m 57% sure!”

“W-Why is the percentage so low?!”

“Eh? That’s actually really high! Usually, I need to be way more ready to carry you away. If something explodes now, I’m pretty sure some of your hair will catch fire.”

I groaned.

If that happened, it’d be awful. I’d need to arrange a falling plant pot for every witness. And if there was one thing dwarves didn’t do, it was anything green or leafy. 

“... Fine. What is the good news?”

“The good news is that the Snow Dancer and I found the hidden vault inside the landship. It’s got a bunch of stuff inside it. Crowns, jewellery and a few magical items. It’s a nice haul. There’s definitely enough there to pay for enough premium apples to last a few days.”

I blinked, then glanced down at the pouch by Coppelia’s waist.

The one that was slightly jingling. And frumpy.

“My, that truly is good news! … By any chance, did you already requisition any in advance?”

“Ahahaha~” 

Hmm.

She only laughed, yet all I heard was her saying that she’d be paying for all the provisions.

“Very well. What is the bad news, then … ?” 

“The bad news is that nothing was expensive enough for the Snow Dancer to haggle over. She took one look at everything, then scooped up her ducks and left.”

“She … She left?”

“Yup! Just like that.”

I was horrified.

That wasn’t bad news. It was dire news. 

Why, the last time the Snow Dancer absconded, she’d gifted a shoe dangling on a branch! If she suddenly left without even doing that much, then that meant she planned to return!

“Where could she possibly have gone? There’s nothing left to do!”

“No idea, but it means blowing you up wasn’t enough. Isn’t that great? … Hey, I get the feeling she really wants to be useful!”

“Please, if that insane elven woman wants to be useful, she can stop robbing from the Royal Treasury and also fix the hole she made in my landship.” 

BruUmMmmM.

All of a sudden, a mild rumbling came from beside us.

Utterly exasperated, I turned to see what calamity awaited next.

There, a mound of rubble formed from where a hoodlum had been hurled into the cavern wall was trembling. Shards and broken stone quivered like the beginning of an earthquake. 

But this wasn’t the start of an avalanche from above.

“Gwaaaaaaaaarrrrrrhhhh!!!!”

Just a very unkempt dwarf making his reappearance. 

I blinked as Hoodlum A climbed, stumbled and coughed his way free. 

Smoke rose from his figure as he stood up, his attire and beard both torn beyond recognition. He was caked in powdered stone and grit, with only his seething eyes visible.

“That. Is. My. Landship.”

His voice came out as a croak.

Even so, a thousand promises and even more insults readied themselves to exit his lips.

All I heard was a strange wheeze as his lumbering steps slowed to a halt.

Then, with a final grimace, his eyes rolled up until only the whites could be seen, before he pitched forward and gracelessly tumbled the rest of the way down the mound.

We all stared for several moments.

“Coppelia?”

“Mmh?”

“You’ll have to carry him to the nearest guardhouse.”

“Ehh?! No way. That sounds like a pain.”

“Well, I can hardly spare anyone else. They’re all busy fixing things.”

“The guy will wake up eventually. I bet if you wait, he’ll follow while making weird hissing noises.”

I gave it a moment’s consideration.

True, he was clearly more stubborn than he was sensible. But I already had enough stalkers to my name, and this one failed to even meet the minimum dress requirements.

“Ahem.”

Suddenly, a feeble cough came from behind me.

I glanced behind to see the most ordinary dwarf I’d ever seen in my life.

He swallowed a gulp, then straightened his posture.

“Uh, I can help.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly in puzzlement.

“... Do I know you?” 

“Yeah. I’m the dwarf who gave your message to the Black Thane … and then, well, I hid behind a bookcase when you blew up the wall. If you’re looking for a common goon to do gruntwork, I can do that. I think … um, I think working for you is maybe safer than not working for you. If nothing else, I’m kinda just hoping that it breaks the curse.”

All around the cavern, expressions filled with horror and fear watched on as one of their own volunteered their labour in the most bizarre fashion possible.

I hardly saw why.

I was always hiring.