Chapter 439: A Maiden’s Answer

Moonlight washed over the sleepy village of Nettle Cross.A gentle breeze carried the scent of wildflowers from the nearby fields, tickling the leaves of the bergamot trees. Crickets sang their nightly chorus in the hedgerows, joined by the soft hoot of an owl perched upon a chapel steeple. Fruit slimes bounced somewhere in the distance while enjoying their orange spoils in the safety of the nearby woodlands. 

However, aside from the tabby cats darting between the narrow alleys, not a soul stirred in the centre of the village.

After all–

“Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!”

They were all downstairs.

Stuffed inside the common room of an inn, every farmer had taken it upon themselves to ensure that what they lacked in numbers and productivity, they made up for in drunkenness.

Indeed, it was little wonder why nobody was celebrating the end of a generic criminal organisation’s mischief. Within the rowdy walls of The Sleeping Hare, the trembling of the world was still occurring. 

I barely heard any of it.

Instead–

“Heheheh … heheheheh …”

I was busy rolling on my fae bed. 

I rolled to my left. I rolled to my right. 

I rolled again and again, my limbs messily splayed and my hair eventually covering my face.

Then, I rolled onto my back, blew my hair away from my eyes and smiled.

Yes.

I barely heard anything.

The boisterousness of drunken laughter? Nothing. The rolling of tankards and the groans of vomiting? Nothing. The scurrying of dancing mice in the ceiling? … Almost nothing.

Each was normally enough to invite insomnia in a way only Apple snoring all the way from his stables could do. And yet now, they were as quiet as my servants when they hurried away whenever I stomped past while pretending to be upset just so I could later use their hiding spots for myself.

“Heheheheheh …”

The sound of my gentle laughter filled the air as I resumed rolling.

After all, it soon wouldn’t be the debauchery of hoodlums keeping me up at night, but the head chef as he illicitly rendezvoused with another maid outside my bedroom tower.

That was something I needed to fix.

… Fortunately, there were other things waiting to keep me up at night too!

A pile of all the books I’d missed! A rush of sugar as all the midnight shortcakes mysteriously found themselves deposited in my bedroom! The glimmering of the stars as they reached out to me on my balcony! A mysterious explosion from Clarise’s observatory!

All the simple joys a princess deserved would again be mine!

Ohohohoho!

Indeed, I was amazing!

From vaults tiny, large and melted, I had thoroughly requisitioned everything required to ensure my quality of life was now secure! 

No longer would the word stale be levied against the fare sat upon my dining table! When next I tossed a gougère through the window, it would be simply because it was tarnished with a carrot purée!

Yes, despite the increasingly desperate attempts by those wishing for my tears, nothing would now stop my return to my orchard! … I could feel it!

Knock. Knock.

… Especially since I’d blockaded the door!

I sat up, then looked to where a desk and several chairs had been propped.  

“Yes, who is it … ?”

“Room service!” came Coppelia’s cheerful voice.

I didn’t move.

“... Have you checked behind you?”

“Yep!”

“Are there any receptionists, hooded figures or ducks?”

“No receptionists. No hooded figures. No ducks. All clear!”

“Very well. Please wait a moment.”

I rose, fixed my hair, then made my way to the emergency blockade to begin pulling everything aside. 

When the door parted, it was only by a fingertip’s width. 

I peeked out to see Coppelia’s face filling up the entire gap. I opened it a little more and eyed the corridor behind her. Only when I saw it was empty did I allow myself to sigh with relief.

… It lasted only until I saw what she was carrying.

“C-Coppelia! That is …”

“Heheh~ recognise it?” 

Widening the door with her foot, Coppelia bounded inside, dinner upon a wooden plate. 

A very greasy wooden plate.

Before me was a thing as recognisable to my eyes as my nose.

It was two halves of a steamed brioche filled with all the things no princess had ever repeatedly eaten. A grilled beef patty beneath a layer of melted gruyère and a colourful mixture of red onions, butterhead lettuce and sweet tomatoes.

My mouth widened at the sight.

“It’s … it’s the thing!”

“It’s the thing!” confirmed Coppelia, lifting the amalgamation of delicious regret high above her. “A sandwich melt made by a magical halfling … except he isn’t here! This was done by the inn!”

I gasped.

It was beginning to spread! 

A thing slathered in grease and eaten exclusively with hands … and so close to the Royal Villa, too!

Why, that was awful! It meant these terrible, delicious, conveniently sized and highly portable sandwiches would soon reach the discerning ears of my own kitchen staff! 

Knowing their competence for experimenting with the latest trends, they would surely recreate this if only to taste it amongst themselves! This meant when I inspected the kitchens, I had no doubt I’d find this occasionally sitting where I happened to be pointing!

“H-How awful!” I said as I stared at a sandwich melt magically in my hands. “To think that something so rudimentary has spread for every princess to deny eating!”  

“Ahaha~ well, it has and it hasn’t. The sandwich melts I saw the inn making are a little different. I had to tell them how to do it properly.”

“I see … as expected of someone with their own culinary guidebook! Are you able to instruct all chefs on how to recreate this exactly from start to finish?”

“Mmh! It’s really not that hard to make. It’s still a sandwich. It’s just that nobody came up with the idea of putting something really greasy in the middle. It’s a bit messy.”

“Q-Quite so! Something like this is highly unfitting for me to eat! In fact, it’d be terrible if you accidentally told the Royal Villa’s chefs how to make this to the exact ingredient portion! … But … But in case you do, I should still sample this just so I can remember all the warnings I need to give!”

I swallowed a gulp as Coppelia giggled.

Then, with trembling hands, I lifted the death of haute cuisine … 

Pwam.

Only to redirect my wide open mouth towards the window instead.

All of a sudden, the wooden shutters were clinging onto their hinges as an elven woman with long silver hair, a semi-formal dress and a carefree smile climbed her way into the room.

“Okay! I’m back!” said Ophelia as she dusted down her knees. “That actually took a bit longer than I thought, but it turns out dwarves can be sneaky when they’re not blowing things up and … ooh, an Aquina sandwich melt! I used to eat these! … Do you like them?”

“O-Ohoho?! I … I have no idea what you’re referring to! Coppelia, why did you give this strange, unidentifiable object to me? I cannot touch something so unseemly!” 

“Really? Can I have it, then?”

“Of … Of course! But you should wait until the Snow Dancer leaves first!”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m not actually going anywhere–and wow, that’s an amazing bed. The inns have gotten a lot better since I last paid for one. How much did it cost to get a room like this?”

I jabbed my finger at the intruder, all the while waving at Coppelia to put my sandwich melt to the side. 

“Y-You! How did you know I was here?! … Are you stalking me?!”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not stalking you. All I did was follow your scent.”

“... Excuse me?!”

“Hey, it’s not something you should be surprised about. You have a really unique scent. It’s sort of rosy, and that’s nuts. Even though you go through caves and forests, your hair still manages to smell and look really nice. The aunties would murder for your secret.”

She paused.

“As in actually murder. Don’t let them catch you. I don’t think I could help.”

Yes.

I still had no idea who these aunties were. Only that I had to avoid them just as much as her.

“Flattery will not earn you a free room … even if it’s true! What nefarious scheme are you up to?! … Are you planning to assassinate me?! Was shooting a cannon in my direction not enough?!”

“Oh, it’s funny you should say that! I was actually–”

I gasped.

“C-Coppelia! … She’s revealed her true colours! You must do away with her at once!”

“Omnomnomonomonom~”

Just beside me, my loyal handmaiden was critically distracted by a sandwich melt in her mouth.

I pursed my lips.

“... Very well!” I said, acknowledging my opponent with a nod. “I see you’ve meticulously planned your time of arrival. But know that I defeated you before–fairly despite any objections you might have. I can do so again!”

I waited for the Snow Dancer to reach for the nearest spoon.

She certainly wasn’t carrying a sword.

To my confusion, all I received was a bemused smile instead.

“Don’t worry. I’m not planning to murder you.”

“... No? So something else equally grim, then?”

“Hmm, that’s not very likely. I don’t really do anything grim. If anything, I’m the opposite. I’m great at the whole stabbing thing. Just not against you, which did annoy me at first. But like I said, you don’t need to worry. I thought really long and hard about it and decided I’m not going to murder you.”

I threw up my arms in exasperation.

“What do you mean you thought really long and hard about it?! What is there to think about?!”

“A lot. Especially when it took two weeks and a lake I had to freeze into ice just for the bump on my head to begin going down. But in the end, I decided that if I murder you, there really isn’t any going back from that. Plus Grandma will probably be annoyed and I don’t want her to dislike me.”

“‘Grandma’?!” I leaned away, utterly aghast. “... H-How dare you refer to the former queen of this kingdom so informally! That … That is treason!”

Ophelia simply responded with laughter.

Something I’d be relaying to Grandmother the next time I saw her. The woman’s fate was sealed.

“Mmh, I think you’re right about that. She’d definitely make me climb a mountain again. But if nothing else, I’m sure she’d also acknowledge the effort I put into finding what I was looking for.”

“... What do you mean? What have you found? Is this why you left earlier?”

“Yep! I was sort of hoping I could find what I wanted in the landship, but I knew straight away it wouldn’t be that easy. I had to go chasing down dwarves instead, and like you saw when a rolling boulder of doom was after them, they can run really fast.”

The Snow Dancer wore a less-than-innocent smile.

Only at that moment did I realise she was hiding something behind her back. 

I didn’t know what it was. But I did know that a sword would be preferable.

“By any chance … have you ever heard of the Heart of the Forge?” she asked.

“The Heart of the Forge?” I blinked, having utterly no idea what this woman was planning. “I’ve only the faintest recollection of that name. Is it not some dwarven jewel?”

“Close! The rumour is that it’s a priceless dwarven diamond. That’s actually not the case. It turns out it’s the name for the arcana crystals the dwarves used ages ago to fuel their workshops. That’s why you occasionally hear about them popping up.”

“I see … ? And I take it from the fact you’re speaking about this that you’ve acquired one … ?”

“Mmh. That dwarf had a pretty nice collection. I think he used them to fuel the cannon which I definitely wasn’t aiming at you. But the nicest is the one his subordinates were ready to swipe the moment things started exploding in the wrong direction–here take a look.” 

The Snow Dancer revealed what she was hiding.

The moment her fingers ceased to cover it, night was whisked away to a light so blinding I had to wince while looking away. 

As she fully unveiled her palm, it was to reveal a tiny crystal bead, no bigger than the gemstones etched into jewellery … and yet what it lacked in size, it made up for in sheer, overwhelming luminosity. 

It was absurd. 

I’d seen countless arcana crystals before. The ones ordered by Clarise were exceptionally high quality. But this was a veritable star given form. 

The fact that it was so small only increased its value. Mages all across the continent would offer their entire fortune to have something like this slotted into their staffs or used in their experiments.

“Pretty, huh?” The Snow Dancer beamed, causing shadows to dance around the room as she slightly closed her fingers. “By my estimate, it’s worth several times more crowns than what the vault in the landship possessed. And also everything I’ve stolen. This is my repayment.”

I stared.

Not just because I was stunned at what she was saying, but because I was trying to work out if my eyes still worked. Every colour seemed slightly off.

“You’re offering this as reimbursement for all you’ve taken?”

“Yep. It’s yours. Or your parents. It’s also for them.”

“I … I see? Well, it’s certainly the kingdom you’ve wronged. That includes the king and queen.”

“Great! Does that mean I’m off the hook?”

“Well … I suppose if it’s purely a matter of paying off your financial arrears, then yes. I can consider that matter closed. With that said, your history of crime is–”

“Okay! I can work with that!”

The Snow Dancer offered out her palm, her fingers only loosely covering the shining crystal.

Still, I hesitated.

Something seemed … suspicious. 

I didn’t know what … but my princess senses were tingling. If I was a deer in a forest, I’d already be vaulting over a hedge.

“You’re truly willing to offer this highly valuable, some might say priceless, dwarven crystal simply to make amends for stealing from the Royal Treasury?”

“What can I say? I’ve turned a new leaf.”

“I see … in that case, I shall–”

“Alsolet’sgetmarried.”

I paused.

That pause became a slightly longer pause, until it eventually became a chasm of silence.

“Hm?

“Let’s get married.”

“Excuse me? … Can you say that again? I think I misheard.”

“Let’s get married. With a giant pumpkin carriage. And a floating castle.”

I blinked.

Then, I slowly turned to Coppelia. 

She’d stopped eating.

It was that serious.

“My apologies, but I think there’s something wrong with my ears. For the sake of clarity, may I ask if you’re proposing to me? As in, are you asking me, a princess of the realm, to accept the rites of marriage with you, a wanted fugitive?” 

“Yes.”

Ophelia’s face shone with excitement.

Her cheeks were ever so slightly flushed. She was even hopping a little on the spot. 

“I see.”

I gave it a moment’s thought, then plucked the arcana crystal from her palm.

The Snow Dancer’s eyes lit up … all the while I gradually drew Starlight Grace from my side.

Then, I offered a princess’s smile.

“... An arcana crystal is not a suitable proposal gift,” I said in a gentle tone, as I began to twirl my sword. “Next time, please present me with a diamond so I can offer my formal response. [Spring Breeze].”

Pooomph.

I waited as the figure of an elven woman vanished into the night.

Once satisfied, I turned to Coppelia with a nod.

“My, there appears to be a draft. Let’s dine in the common room.”